Greater Than Oceans

•October 20, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Remember the time we loved each other?
The bright light shining in your eyes,
Blinding you with the happiness we brought
That one little world where it all was ok.

Regardless we marched on apart,
But remember that spectacular past?
That one gray Saturday way back when,
remember when you fell in love?

It’s all black and white now,
But remember the time I walked you home?
Shivering in the cold night,
You spoke your mind to me.

Time stands still in my mind now,
But remember laying down with me?
Whispering something in my ear,
All I remembered was your smile back then.

A chasm greater than the ocean parts us now,
But remember the morning when nothing mattered?
Your look alone said all that ever needed to be.
Do you remember?

Do you?

Inspired by:

Dialogue of the Heart and Soul (Poetry)

•June 22, 2011 • Leave a Comment

**Note: Indenting in wordpress fail, html is apparently no good for that**

No, the darkness in my mind,
It can’t control me forever.
The lasting repercussions,
Built into the failing scaffold,
Deep in the recesses of my heart,
They fracture the most.
Tiny pieces fall out,
Scatter to the fives winds.
A futile quest to collect them all again,
My mind flounders in disparity.
What could I have done?
…..Just give up and let the feelings overcome you.
……….If you had to do it over again….
……………I wouldn’t have screwed up like you.
……….What would you do now?
…..Hell if I know, it’s your problem not mine.
And I know you,
That voice hiding, scared,
Forever cowering in my mind.
For you are what I am,
The purest scent of my being,
The reason I can’t face myself.
My eyes, can you close them for me?
I no longer wish to see, it’s too much.

Cause and Effect (Poetry)

•April 25, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Cause and effect / Maybe we have only others to blame.
I came, I saw, I ran / I was weak, no resolve.
What I felt at the time / That wasn’t me at all.
Apologies are few / They do nothing for me.
I trusted myself / Why didn’t you trust me?
I thought I trusted you / Why didn’t you trust yourself?
Cause and effect / Maybe you have only others to blame.
Responsibility lies / It lies and lies and lies.
So many God be damned / Cursed twice in the night lies.
What if we could see / Straight through each other?
You don’t want that / I might think differently of you.
It’s really about what we see / What you see.
What do you see now?
Just tell me, I want to know.
Cause and effect / Maybe no one’s to blame.
Maybe I don’t / Maybe the truth hurts.
Maybe you know that / Maybe I’m naive.
Maybe you’re hiding / Pain brings us to life.
A painless love / There is no such thing.
Maybe you’re scared / I am too.
Love makes everyone scared / …Doesn’t it?
In the end you say / This is all for the best.
For the best? / For who’s best?
Who decides what’s best? / The best? Some best? No best?
I think you’re naive / Taking this too far.
I think I’m stupid / Thinking this through too far.
Cause and effect / Maybe I’m to blame.
Maybe I should just stop thinking.
Isn’t thinking why we’re here in the first place?

On This Cold Dark Night (Poetry)

•February 10, 2011 • 1 Comment

The wind blows through my heart on this cold dark night.
Your words creep through my soul with a touch of fading light.
Keep telling me how you feel, I doubt that I can care,
Cause suddenly I see, when you want me I’m never there.

Will tomorrow ever come? Can I make it through this night?
Perhaps I should take my leave, in no way does this feel right.
I look deep into your eyes, straight into their light,
But my heart won’t let me stay, it only thinks of flight.

What did you do wrong? I cannot say myself.
I wanted to be alone, all those times you offered help.
Darkness fills my mind, no longer shall I turn back,
Reach for me no more, or it all will fade to black.

An endless dance of pain I can’t tear myself away.
If it ever were to end I don’t know what I’d say.
If I find a way to change, if I step into the light,
I can’t imagine this would end, I’ll forever have to fight.

Maybe it’s a dream, maybe there’s something more outside?
Then none of this is real and I’ll have nowhere left to hide.
Maybe I’ll just stay, in this world of pain and blight;
I’ll lock myself away, embrace this cold dark night.

He Wrote A Story (poetry)

•November 16, 2010 • 1 Comment

Click to enlarge to read!

Credit to snowman land for photo-shopping this for me

Apocalyptic Worlds (Journal)

•October 28, 2010 • 2 Comments

Chrono Trigger
On my mind recently has been my fascination with apocalyptic worlds. The mere idea of a world being turned inside-out is enamoring to me. I imagine looking up at this new, familiar yet foreign world from the eyes of the chracters in the stories I read / play.
For example, I’ve been reading a book entitled “The Source of Magic”, part of the Xanth novels. In this area called “Xanth” magic exists. The main character Bink, after a long and exhausting journey, finds the source of all magic. It turns out to be a mystical Demon named “Xanth” confined by rules beyond his comprehension who can only be released by another being. Despite warnings from the ones around him, he releases the demon and the demon, in its higher being utterly unaware of the miniscule lives on Earth, simply leaves. Without the Demon, Xanth no longer has magic. Bink climbs out of the caves where the Demon was trapped and looks around him to a world that is no longer filled with magic. That image, to me, is absolutely enchanting.
Or Chrono Trigger for the SNES for example. The image above is Marie holding Crono, one of the most famous scenes from that game. In Chrono Trigger, Crono is whisked off into an adventure in time. At first he wanders around on various mis-adventures, like when he rescues Marie. Then at some point his group ends up in the future. There they learn what happened, why their world became a barren wasteland. A creature, “Lavos”, was summoned and destroyed their land. I got a chill playing that game when I saw the video footage in the future of Lavos destroying the world.

In the anime Angel Beats the premise for the anime is that the characters are stuck in this world where they cannot die. They fight to remain themselves, knowing that only “oblivion” (finding peace in their hearts) can destroy them. At the end, after a long a grueling final battle and a struggle to find the core of the world, they learn the true purpose of the world and decide to all move on. However, the few characters most seen in the movie decide to stay behind a bit. Its during this period that they reflect upon the world, now seen in a different life, and now completely empty of the others that were with them. On the edge of oblivion, they realize that the world has been turned inside out for them. Transformed from a war zone where they fought to survive to a place of fulfillment where they can finally experience peace in their hearts.
I guess I’m just rambling at this point. I wanted to get this out in text though, these feelings so entrapped and bursting in my heart. This is what I feel, this is what drives me, this is who I really am.

Interesting Lyrics (Bad Apple!! -touhou mix) (Lyrics)

•October 28, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Masayoshi Minoshima – Bad Apple!! feat. nomico – Touhou PV [iichan]

Even in the midst of flowing time, I feel languid, look, spinning around and around.
I can’t even see the heart that’s leaving me, didn’t you know?

I can’t even get myself to move, I continue to be washed down the cracks of time.
I don’t know anything about what’s around me, I’m just me and no more.

Am I dreaming? Or seeing nothing? My words are useless even if I speak.
I’m just tired of being sad, I should go on without feeling anything.

Even if you give me the words I’m at a loss for, my heart just won’t pay attention.
If I move myself away, if I change everything, I’ll turn it all black.

Is there a future for someone like me? Will I still exist in a world like this?
Is this painful? Is it sad? Not even knowing myself.

I’m just tired even of walking, I don’t even understand people.
If someone like me can change, if I can change, will I turn white?

Even in the midst of flowing time, I feel languid, look, spinning around and around.
I can’t even see the heart that’s leaving me, didn’t you know?

I can’t even get myself to move, I continue to be washed down the cracks of time.
I don’t know anything about what’s around me, I’m just me and no more.

Am I dreaming? Or seeing nothing? My words are useless even if I speak.
I’m just tired of being sad, I should go on without feeling anything.

Even if you give me the words I’m at a loss for, my heart just won’t pay attention.
If I can move, if I change everything, I’ll turn it all black.

Is there a future to come out of this useless time? Will I exist in a place like this?
If I wanted to tell you what kind of person I am, the words I’d use would be “good for nothing.”

Will I exist in a place like this? Will I exist in a time like this?
If someone like me can change, if I can change, will I turn white?

Am I dreaming now? Or seeing nothing? My words are useless even if I speak.
I’m just tired of being sad, I should go on without feeling anything.

Even if you give me the words I’m at a loss for, my heart just won’t pay attention.
If I can move, if I change everything, I’ll turn it all black.

If I move, if I move, I’ll destroy everything, I’ll destroy everything.
If I grieve, if I grieve, can my heart turn white?

I still don’t know about you, about myself, about everything.
If I can open my heavy eyelids, if I break everything, then turn black!!!